Monday, 11 April 2011
I am going to just pour this out before I chicken out, warning: could get super slushy!
I was in pursuit of happiness throughout my life, and I really thought it might be a constant search in life. This doesn't mean that I was unhappy; but that I was searching for something more. And then I found it....
It was the day I held Rachel in my arms for the first time, her birthday, her first minute of life. It is so hard to explain the pure unadulterated joy that I experienced, it was god-smackingly fabulous.
Throughout the last 5 years and 6 months that happiness has waxed and waned to some extent through periods of depression and illness (both mine and hers; but it has remained higher than ever before. I am happy when I get that first cuddle in the morning, happy when she shares her love and secrets with mr, happy when I see the love shared between her and Mike, happy seeing her with her friends, happy when I tuck her in at night.
For me happiness is motherhood; in all it's ups and downs, challenges and rewards; pure happiness.